Good / Bad things that have happened to me after going from bmi 23 to bmi 15 >>A 🧵 for #edrtwt (pics below are…

Good / Bad things that have happened to me after going from bmi 23 to bmi 15 >>A 🧵 for #edrtwt (pics below are mine ignore the mess T-T)

Disclaimer: I’d like to start this off by saying that many of these negative effects have severely altered my life. I’m making this thread to share my experience w others and hear abt ur experiences too! Pls take care of yourselves!!

GOOD>> People Treating me Better: Unfortunately it’s true. After hitting bmi 16 people have been noticeably much nicer to me. Social groups are more welcoming, I get invited to functions, and ppl are quicker to comment positively on my appearance and body (more on that later)

BAD>> The Cold: Ok so icl I still romanticize being cold and get very triggered during rare occasions where I feel hot. But the kind of cold I feel now isn’t the regular kind. It’s like my organs/bones themselves are cold- it’s unbearable when I’m in class bc they always have-

the ac up so high. Sometimes I go stand in the sun to try and warm up but even then it’s like I can only feel it on my skin and it’s not warming up my insides. Sometimes even with many jackets I still can’t shake the feeling + my nails are always blue so people think im anemic

GOOD>> Shopping: I used to HATE shopping! Like srsly I never rly bought clothes I liked bc the process was such an ordeal and I felt like everything always fit horribly on me unless it was super baggy. These days as long as it’s s-xxs i can having peace of mind knowing itll fit

BAD>> Sitting Hurts: This one dosent get talked abt enough. So i have a relatively high pain tolerance but am at the point where i carry around a folder-sized cushion at school bc sitting in the chairs too long makes my like ass bones hurt + also I can’t sit down in the bath 😭

GOOD>> Walking More: I always get exercise now! Over the summer I worked up to getting 15k steps daily! Since school started I’ve brought it down to 10k so I have more study time but I’m currently on a 55 day streak of 10k and I feel sm better overall since I’m moving more

BAD>> Weakness: My physical strength had deteriorated a lot. I started my disorder very focused on building muscle and eating lots of protein, looking at fitspo etc… it quickly just became ana and I lost most of my muscle esp in my upper body. Went from 16 easy pull-ups to 1 :(

GOOD>> Being “asian skinny”: In the past whenever I would visit Korea it was rly noticeable how much bigger I was than my peers. People would often say to my mom “oh your kids eat so well”. If I was complimented it was never on my body and when I shopped I always had to buy-

medium or large sizes / men’s clothes + if I tried to look trendy I just looked fat. When I went this summer, Id lost 10-12 kg since the year before & it was a huge difference. Clothes always fit well or baggy on me, I felt normal or even skinny for the first time! BUT the-

biggest thing was peoples comments. People would for the first time ever compliment my body, ask how much I weigh, ask abt my diet, ask if I ate enough/to eat more, touch my arms, etc. and it was surprising but so so incredibly validating. I finally felt good enough :)

BAD>> Brain Fog/Derealization: I’ve always struggled w disassociation but now I really feel Ive forgotten the shape of my soul/who I am. The disorder is the only thing keeping me together but it’s also the thing that’s turned me into a blank void. I feel utterly empty.

End of 🧵 !! In short, for the first time I acc do feel sort of beautiful but I have become very very warped in the process!! Thanks for reading to the end also if anyone has thoughts on/ever reached ugw and been satisfied/maintained I would LOVE to hear abt it 🥹