🧵At 8:24 AM, Moscow declared a perfect score: 559 Ukrainian drones launched, 559 destroyed. At 8:25 AM, NASA orbital…

🧵At 8:24 AM, Moscow declared a perfect score: 559 Ukrainian drones launched, 559 destroyed. At 8:25 AM, NASA orbital sensors caught two major Russian airbases burning in massive infernos. When a government writes its own scorecard, it stops governing and starts golfing. 1/🧵

Moscow's official math claims air defense shoots down a Ukrainian drone every 100 seconds, 24/7. Official reports claimed Maykop repelled the raid and only "damaged a few roofs." In reality, those "roofs" were an entire airbase burning on NASA satellite imagery. 2/

A Russian drone executive briefed Putin on new jet Shaheds, declaring: "We are ready to strike!" Putin gave him a warm hug. 48 hours later, Ukraine blew up his launch facility. The US Treasury sanctioned him first; Putin offered a hug second. 3/

Vladimir Putin publicly bragged that Russia's new jet-powered Geran-5 drone had "no antidote." The problem? Ukrainian forces had already posted footage of shooting one down six days before his speech. The "unstoppable" weapon lasted under a week against budget interceptors. 4/

Russian air defense economics are financial comedy. Ukraine builds strike drones for $55,000 each. To shoot one down, Russia fires a $200,000 Pantsir missile. Every time air defense succeeds, Moscow spends $200,000 to destroy a $55,000 flying toaster. 5/

Near Novodmitrovka, an entire assault group from Russia's 34th Motorized Brigade refused to fight. Instead of declaring treason, Russian military bloggers published the refusal and agreed with the troops, citing total Ukrainian drone dominance over the front. 6/

On the front line, Russian supply chains are replaced by pure luck. In dugouts, troops set up Starlink antennas. Ukrainian drones hunt those exact shapes. Setting one up is like leaving the porch light on so the burglar knows which house to rob. 7/

While frontline troops dodged suicide drones, Putin watched military drills featuring the "Shturm" uncrewed super-tank. The high-tech robot lost radio signal almost instantly, ending its live demonstration nose-down in a muddy ditch. 8/

From his prison cell, warlord Igor Strelkov mocked Kremlin leaders: "I don't understand why Ufa can be bombed, but Kaliningrad cannot be blockaded." Meanwhile, troops reviewed their political officer: "A fine officer. Never refuses help. Especially if you don't ask." 9/

Inside the Kremlin, military honors are pure farce. Ramzan Kadyrov was awarded the elite Crimson Beret, a badge requiring a brutal 7.5-mile test where recruits regularly die. Kadyrov skipped the test entirely and traded a Chechen medal for it. 10/

In Irkutsk, a 28-year-old anti-plague institute staffer died of the plague. Local officials issued emergency warnings, then erased them. Russian state TV ran five news reports, then deleted all five. In Moscow, if you delete the report, the plague vanishes. 11/

Moscow told all foreign diplomats to flee Kyiv immediately on Saturday. Sunday morning, German Chancellor Friedrich Merz stepped off a train in Kyiv with 10 defense CEOs, €1B in military aid, and 1,000 jet interceptors. So much for the Kremlin's warning. 12/

You can hide casualty lists on state TV, but you cannot hide burning airfields from orbital sensors or mutinies from your own soldiers. A chain of command that carries only good news is not a military. It is a fan club with a budget. Full Report: 13/🧵 professorbonk.substack.com/p/ukraine-burn…