Jeremiah Johnson 🌐@JeremiahDJohns · Sep 5, 2026

"Capitalism is why people have to work" is very silly thing to say, but it's part of a grand tradition of blaming…

25 tweets3 min read♥ 6Koriginal

Summary

A thread mocking the tendency to blame capitalism for literally everything, from mundane issues like meal prep to absurd claims like life not existing on Mars, arguing that 'capitalism' has become a catch-all scapegoat for any unpleasant aspect of life.

Summarized by ThreadOut AI from the full thread. May miss nuance — read the thread below.

#1
"Capitalism is why people have to work" is very silly thing to say, but it's part of a grand tradition of blaming literally everything, no matter how absurd, on capitalism. A short thread:
#2
Why isn't there life on Mars? Capitalism
#3
Why don't you have any friends? Why are you lonely? Capitalism
#4
Why does John Wick kill people? Capitalism
#5
Why is meal prep annoying? Capitalism
#6
Why does food come in bowls? Capitalism
#7
Why did a state-owned and operated company set the ocean on fire? Capitalism
#8
Why do most people prefer monogamy? Capitalism
#9
Why do you care whether or not your kid is genetically your kid? Capitalism
#10
Why don't you read as much as you want to? Capitalism
#11
Why do we use solar time instead of lunar time? This time, it's actually "masculine capitalism"
#12
Why does frozen food exist? Capitalism
#13
Why do people expect you to be on time? Capitalism
#14
Why do you have hobbies? Capitalism theatlantic.com/family/archive…
#15
Why aren't people having kids? Capitalism nytimes.com/interactive/20…
#16
Why is weed illegal? Capitalism Why is weed being legalized? Also capitalism socialistalternative.org/2022/04/20/can…
#17
Why do you have to charge your phone? Capitalism
#18
Why do incels exist? Capitalism theguardian.com/commentisfree/…
#19
Why can't you fall asleep? Capitalism
#20
Why do people paint their homes beige? Capitalism
#21
Why did Taylor Swift marry Travis Kelce? Why is America so mean these days? @voxdotcom is on the case. Turns out, it's capitalism
#22
Why do people rake their leaves? Capitalism
#23
Why do trans people exist? Two reasons: Capitalism and capitalism
#24
Why do you like astrology? Capitalism Why do people enjoy vacations? Capitalism
#25
There is nothing in the world, no matter how banal or how ridiculous, that capitalism hasn't been blamed for. "Capitalism" now functions as an ur-boogeyman, a universal cause for anything in life that you find unpleasant.

Keep reading

Threads on similar topics, unrolled by other readers.

JD Vance@JDVance

It has been 50 days since Kamala Harris became the presumptive nominee of the Democratic Party. In the dead of night yesterday, she finally released her campaign policy page. Here's what I think of...

SummaryA critic analyzes Kamala Harris's newly released campaign policy page, arguing that her claims about cutting taxes, making housing affordable, reducing regulations, and improving education don't match her actual policy proposals, which would burden working-class families through increased audits, ineffective housing assistance, more red tape, and student loan subsidies.Sep 9, 20249 tweets♥ 141K

Community Notes & Violations@CNviolations

💣 Top 8 HILARIOUS comebacks and owns the woke cult won't like. 🧵THREAD🧵 1. OG comeback.

SummaryA collection of eight political comebacks and jokes framed as criticism of progressive viewpoints, with the author inviting followers to engage with their account for similar content.Nov 29, 202410 tweets♥ 123K

thatonemaddy.bsky.social@thatonemaddy

Watching Gen Z men veer right hits different for Millennials. We lived through Columbine, 9/11, the Iraq War, 2008 crash, 2016 election, covid, abortion bans, & now this. We watched institutions r...

SummaryA millennial reflects on how their generation faced repeated institutional failures and broken promises despite following the prescribed path to success, expressing concern about Gen Z turning toward extremism while asserting that millennials' resilience and compassion make them uniquely suited to lead positive change.Nov 7, 202418 tweets♥ 86.4K

The Vigilant Fox 🦊@VigilantFox

The Top Ten Most Embarrassing Moments at the DNC Tonight I can't believe these actually happened. 🧵 THREAD

SummaryA critical compilation of embarrassing moments from the Democratic National Convention, highlighting gaffes by Biden, staff members, and speakers, along with commentary suggesting the Democrats' handling of Biden's exit was less voluntary than publicly portrayed.Aug 20, 202413 tweets♥ 60.6K

The Vigilant Fox 🦊@VigilantFox

The Top Ten Most Embarrassing Moments from the DNC: Day 2 Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. Brace yourself. 🧵THREAD

SummaryA thread compiling ten moments from Day 2 of the Democratic National Convention presented as embarrassing or controversial, including Bernie Sanders criticizing billionaire influence, Kamala Harris on policing amid heavy security, Tim Walz being fact-checked by Jake Tapper, and various other incidents from delegates and speakers.Aug 21, 202413 tweets♥ 36.9K

Alex Baqueiro@AlexBaks82

Hilo de momentos surrealistas 4T. Ana María Prieto y aquel bailecito del “yo sí voy a ser exitoso y tú no… lero, lero” para explicar el nuevo modelo educativo. Probablemente los 20 segundos de pena...

SummaryUna recopilación de momentos surrealistas y vergonzosos durante la administración de López Obrador, incluyendo un baile inadecuado sobre educación, una funcionaria exhibiendo sus piernas en Palacio Nacional, una ceremonia presentada falsamente como 'evento diplomático', el arresto de alguien disfrazado de cerebro, y una pelea entre diputadas por un hombre.Aug 20, 20265 tweets♥ 10.7K

"Capitalism is why people have to work" is very silly thing to say, but it's part of a grand tradition of blaming…

Summary

Keep reading

It has been 50 days since Kamala Harris became the presumptive nominee of the Democratic Party. In the dead of night yesterday, she finally released her campaign policy page. Here's what I think of...

💣 Top 8 HILARIOUS comebacks and owns the woke cult won't like. 🧵THREAD🧵 1. OG comeback.

Watching Gen Z men veer right hits different for Millennials. We lived through Columbine, 9/11, the Iraq War, 2008 crash, 2016 election, covid, abortion bans, &amp; now this. We watched institutions r...

The Top Ten Most Embarrassing Moments at the DNC Tonight I can't believe these actually happened. 🧵 THREAD

The Top Ten Most Embarrassing Moments from the DNC: Day 2 Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. Brace yourself. 🧵THREAD

Hilo de momentos surrealistas 4T. Ana María Prieto y aquel bailecito del “yo sí voy a ser exitoso y tú no… lero, lero” para explicar el nuevo modelo educativo. Probablemente los 20 segundos de pena...

Keep reading

It has been 50 days since Kamala Harris became the presumptive nominee of the Democratic Party. In the dead of night yesterday, she finally released her campaign policy page. Here's what I think of...

💣 Top 8 HILARIOUS comebacks and owns the woke cult won't like. 🧵THREAD🧵 1. OG comeback.

Watching Gen Z men veer right hits different for Millennials. We lived through Columbine, 9/11, the Iraq War, 2008 crash, 2016 election, covid, abortion bans, &amp; now this. We watched institutions r...

The Top Ten Most Embarrassing Moments at the DNC Tonight I can't believe these actually happened. 🧵 THREAD

The Top Ten Most Embarrassing Moments from the DNC: Day 2 Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. Brace yourself. 🧵THREAD

Hilo de momentos surrealistas 4T. Ana María Prieto y aquel bailecito del “yo sí voy a ser exitoso y tú no… lero, lero” para explicar el nuevo modelo educativo. Probablemente los 20 segundos de pena...

Watching Gen Z men veer right hits different for Millennials. We lived through Columbine, 9/11, the Iraq War, 2008 crash, 2016 election, covid, abortion bans, & now this. We watched institutions r...

Watching Gen Z men veer right hits different for Millennials. We lived through Columbine, 9/11, the Iraq War, 2008 crash, 2016 election, covid, abortion bans, & now this. We watched institutions r...