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Fico(Fan)@CFCFico · Aug 27, 2024

Football conspiracies Everyone knows but doesn’t say😳. Extended Thread 🧵 Enjoy 1. Casemiro randomly appeared at Real…

27 tweets3 min read♥ 55.9Koriginal

Summary

A humorous Twitter thread listing absurd and tongue-in-cheek "conspiracies" about football/soccer players and teams, such as Busquets being 34 for 10 years, Casemiro appearing from nowhere, and various players having suspicious career patterns.

Summarized by ThreadOut AI from the full thread. May miss nuance — read the thread below.

  1. #1

    Football conspiracies Everyone knows but doesn’t say😳. Extended Thread 🧵 Enjoy 1. Casemiro randomly appeared at Real Madrid, nobody knows where he came from.

  2. #2

    2. Busquets has been 34 years old for the past 10 years

  3. #3

    3. Mario Götze’s last goal was the World Cup 2014 final winner

  4. #4

    4. No one has ever seen Crystal Palace play against Burnley

  5. #5

    5. Fernando and Fernandinho are the same person

  6. #6

    6. No one has seen Carlo Ancelotti celebrate a goal

  7. #7

    7. Bruno Fernandes has never had an injury

  8. #8

    8. Aguero’s goal vs QPR in 2012 was rigged

  9. #9

    9. Lisandro Martinez is the only footballer not tall enough to ride a rollercoaster

  10. #10

    10. Liverpool have always played a promoted team first game of the season since the PL began

  11. #11

    11. The only goal Eder has scored in his entire career was at the 2016 EURO’s final.

  12. #12

    12. Alvaro Morata is part of a money laundering schemes by big clubs.

  13. #13

    13. People with the surname ‘Fernandez ’ have a 99.9% chance of playing professional football

  14. #14

    14. Choupo-Moting’s agent blackmailed Bayern & PSG

  15. #15

    16. Allan Saint-Maximin has worn a headband since birth, no one has seen him without one.

  16. #16

    17. Tottenham & Crystal Palace’s sole purpose of their existence is to take points off Manchester City

  17. #17

    18. Thomas Lemar does not exist

  18. #18

    19. Stephan El Shaarawy disappeared from the face of the earth in 2018

  19. #19

    20. Timo Werner is pretending to be a professional footballer

  20. #20

    21. Arsenal FC was named after Arsene Wenger

  21. #21

    15. Joao Moutinho was born as a 35 year old

  22. #22

    16. Allan Saint-Maximin has worn a headband since birth, no one has seen him without one.

  23. #23

    17. Tottenham & Crystal Palace’s sole purpose of their existence is to take points off Manchester City

  24. #24

    18. Thomas Lemar does not exist

  25. #25

    19. Stephan El Shaarawy disappeared from the face of the earth in 2018

  26. #26

    21. Arsenal FC was named after Arsene Wenger

  27. #27

    20. Timo Werner is pretending to be a professional footballer